SIDE CHIC, CATCHING MAIN CHIC FEELINGS
You are a special brand of poison. You’re something I want but do not need. You’re not good for me. This my dear is a fact. I know it and I know you know it too.
We were together, just you and I, until I realised I was just a place holder; holding that spot in your heart for the one you deemed ” the real deal”. How blind I was being a side chick; unaware of the fact that you had others like me, thinking I could make you a “One-Woman Man”, I lived with you daily believing a lie. I do wish I can hate you, but the sad truth is this: no matter how much I want to hate you, I’m incapable of doing so; no matter how much I want to dislike you, I do not have the strength to do so.
Indeed, I have come to accept the fact that these feelings will always exist; lurking in the shadows of memories I can’t erase. This is hard. This is really hard for me.
Truth be told, fate had other plans for you. It gave you someone who fits your nature perfectly, docile, yet you still search for warmth elsewhere. Sometimes I can’t help but think “WHAT IF?”; “What if I were her?”, I know I wouldn’t be enough, after all She isn’t enough. I can’t help but think, “Thank the Fates I skipped this”.
There’s so much history between us. Severally we broke up as a result of your flaws but You kept coming back as poisonous as ever; creeping slowly towards me. I regret falling over and over and over again. I pray time restores my dignity for I’m like a broken record.
I’m at my crossroads. I do acknowledge I’m just a side chick with main chick feelings; whining and complaining like the girlfriend you were faithful to… the very one you never had… expecting the same love and respect you gave to her, because all I got was sexual tension, pent-up needs, wanting to be satisfied and then you dally back to your queen. I can’t even get mad at her. I’m mad at YOU. But it’s okay. S**t happens, life goes on.
This is the last you’ll hear of me, from me or about me. Goodbye poison. The deal is sealed and done with. May we never converge again nor our paths cross anytime soon.